Envy — the unique deadly sin

Envy is a deadly sin. We use the word in sentences in a well-meaning way but at its core, envy is bad.

Many of us are guilty of envying friends. The guilt forces us to keep the emotion a secret. We can widen our perspectives by sharing it and use it as an opportunity and be better.

Envy can be good. But it’s about perspectives

Jealousy is natural. In fact, it is primal. Animals and beasts get jealous too. And it is supposed to help us survive. We might as well use it as a survival instinct without letting it get the better of us. But how do we strike the balance? — that’s the question at centre of every universe.

I am guilty of jealousy. But what I have come to realize is that I am me. Other peoples’ means to their end may not work for me. For example, I may be jealous of my friend getting married but her man is far from ideal for me. In fact, I always tell them they can do better.

Envy is not worth it. It’s a sin you’ll regret.

You can distance yourself from your emotion. Or you can engage them; share and analyze if that object of your jealousy will even work for you. Either way, jealousy is not worth losing your friends for.

I’ve seen way too many celebrity interviews where they state that their friends keep them sane. They also use phrases like, “we are like one soul in two/three bodies.” And we just can’t help but wonder, do we have anyone like that in our lives? I am envious of such friendships and it is a good thing to be envious about. Because we all want that connection, to be connected to be happy instead of being isolated.

Friendships are precious but life changes you and make it hard to keep your friends sometimes. So it is important that you recognize and acknowledge the bitterness simmering within. And work on it before it’s too late and the (friend)ship sails away. Don’t just ruminate, take concrete steps to be productive and work on the desires contributing to your envy.

Envy is a unique sin. You can convert it from a negative emotion to a positive emotion. Neutralize the green hostility with yellow positivity by addressing your emotions and find the remedy that works for you to achieve your goals YOUR way. That is not exactly the same way as the people you know. Comparisons are not healthy. Because you are an individual, your own individual. And that gives you so much room to explore your options.

Envy is not totally wrong. You can envy the good things. Like great friendships. The best things in life are worth envying but not worth destroying due to envy. So don’t let envy get the better of you. Let envy get you better!